Peter Pan likes porn....a lot.
Mar. 15th, 2007 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arielarenaLast night Cara and I were discussing Jeremy Sumpter (among other things but that's irrelevent) and how it was okay to perv over him as Peter Pan 'cause he is pretty much the same age as us. During this conversation, Sully told us about the Lifetime movie he was in about a kid (J Sumpt) getting addicted to porn. Eager to see J Sumpt in a part that didn't involve him wearing leaves and you know older, than 12, we looked for the movie only to find it in fifty million parts (read: twelve). Because we are awesome, we decided to sit back and watch the trainwreck that is Lifetime movies.
The movie is called Cyber Seduction: His Story (or something like that) and if you care deeply about not being spoiled for the movie, stop reading now. Fine, I'll be nice and LJ cut my ramblings...
The movie starts at the end, probably to suck you in because the first thing we see is J Sumpt supposedly killing himself. Why he does this over his porn addiction we don't yet know because the movie just freakin' started. Anyway, J Sumpt is all angst-angst-angst and jumps in the pool. Then the movie actually begins. See, J Sumpt is a kickass swimmer and his family is very proud of him. Everyone loves him and he's the epitome of innnocence...no, wait, he has a girlfriend who he totally makes out with so maybe he's not that innocent. But she won't let him get past first base and he's just aching to touch one boob. But no, Amy (the girlfriend) wants to protect her virginity and innocence and whatnot. She loves Jesus, by the way, and is portrayed as perfect in every way. I'm wondering at this point if Lifetime is encouraging me to be Christian. Whatever Lifetime, I'm happy with my apathy towards religion at the moment thankyouverymuch. But I digress. Recap: Amy won't let J Sumpt do anything other than stick his tongue down her throat (aim for the uvula!) and he's getting antsy.
Then he becomes Big Swimmer Dude On Campus--er Lunchroom and this chick Monica totally gives him the eye. Now Monica is kind of a huge...how do I put this lightly? She's a whoreslutbag. Got a website and everything. And is a little (okay, a lot) insane. But that doesn't come in until later. One of J Sumpt's new friends shows him Mon's website and basically starts him on the downhill slope of watching porn obsessively. Throughout the film from this point we will be down pictures of Jeremy looking at "porn". Except because it's Lifetime he's just looking at women wearing really low cut tops and implying that you see more. So we never witness him looking at porn for real. But I don't really want to see Peter Pan looking at nekkid chicks so I'm okay with that.
J Sumpt's movie mom catches him looking at nekkid ladies at one point. This is before he learns to CLOSE THE F-ING DOOR. His movie dad talks to him about how it's normal but relationships aren't all about sex and blah blah blah love blah blah stop looking at porn. But J Sumpt's addicted! He can't stop! "I can stop whenever I want!" No J Sumpt, you can't. But before we get to that point, he learns how to close his door and stay up late drinking energy drinks and looking at boobies. Then his little brother finds out, later shows his friend, and then his friend gets caught when he shows other people. This is the summarized version of how his parents decide to turn off his internet access (but they don't so I'm kind of confused on that point...did they decide they trusted him? stupid parents) and he, crazy obsessed with nudity, goes to the library to get his fix.
Did I mention that he uses his girlfriend's PDA to download porn? Right before his swim meet? So he ends up losing the race? Because he's addicted to porn? Yeah. It's probably all those late nights where he stays up looking at it. Oh, and he gets into BDSM stuff and shows the guy who started this all and that guy gets pissed. He becomes an outsider at school because they all know about his little fetish. Or something like that. I didn't really pay attention.
Oh, and Monica still totally wants in his pants. And he wants up Monica's shirt. Amy still isn't giving anything up.
Jeremy's grades are suffering because of his addiction. He hacked through the library firewall to get his porn fix and got caught (stupid boy) and blah blah blah problem blah blah "I was looking at pornography!" Who calls it pornography? Other than older people, I mean. A sixteen year old boy would call it porn. Seriously. It's so unrealistic.
At some point now he goes to Monica's house because he wants some ass and she's more than willing. He's contacted her through her site once before (note said "You'r soooo amazing!!!" mispellings and emphasis all his) and goes over for a booty call. He compliments her house, she seems to take it the wrong way and then says she's just teasing and then brings him to her parents room where she intends to...well, you know. He won't be a virgin anymore. J Sumpt, however, chickens out (which is good because he probably would have ended up with an STD of some sort) and Monica goes batshit insane and kicks him out/yells at him because he rejected her. He leaves and she, being a damn psycho bitch, hits her head against the side of the sink so it looks like he beat her or raped her or something. Oh, so that's why he get the shit kicked out of him.
J Sumpt, thoroughly traumatised, decides that he is going to get help and makes peace with his mother and goes to Amy's to make peace with her (oh, she noticed the porn on her PDA finally and confronted him) and says something about wanting to go to Church with her. Again with the religion Lifetime? I get it. Christian=Good.
On his walk home he gets jumped by Monica's BF who doesn't realize how much of a whore she is or something and the guy who introduced J Sumpt to Monica's site the first time. They kick the shit out of him and leave him there. Completely angst ridden, J Sumpt walks to the school where he attempts to drown himself. And we're back at the point at which we started.
But no, here comes the montage of happy thoughts! J Sumpt doesn't want to kill himself afterall! And he pulls his head out of the water and lives. Yeah...lame ending. Would it be too much to ask for one last scene where he's talking to a psychologist or something? Just to show that he's getting help. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted for an ending but this sure as hell wasn't it. Come on Pan, give me something to work with here.
Oh Lifetime, you and your preachy ways. I learned so much from this film. Like the fact that porn can ruin your family or that being Christian is good. I also learned that Peter Pan can play a character that isn't, well, Peter Pan (though I will always refer to him as such, if not J Sumpt). It's funny to think of what Peter Pan's reaction would be to porn considering his reaction to Wendy kissing him innocently. I would not want to be in Neverland if that ever happened. *giggle*
The movie is called Cyber Seduction: His Story (or something like that) and if you care deeply about not being spoiled for the movie, stop reading now. Fine, I'll be nice and LJ cut my ramblings...
The movie starts at the end, probably to suck you in because the first thing we see is J Sumpt supposedly killing himself. Why he does this over his porn addiction we don't yet know because the movie just freakin' started. Anyway, J Sumpt is all angst-angst-angst and jumps in the pool. Then the movie actually begins. See, J Sumpt is a kickass swimmer and his family is very proud of him. Everyone loves him and he's the epitome of innnocence...no, wait, he has a girlfriend who he totally makes out with so maybe he's not that innocent. But she won't let him get past first base and he's just aching to touch one boob. But no, Amy (the girlfriend) wants to protect her virginity and innocence and whatnot. She loves Jesus, by the way, and is portrayed as perfect in every way. I'm wondering at this point if Lifetime is encouraging me to be Christian. Whatever Lifetime, I'm happy with my apathy towards religion at the moment thankyouverymuch. But I digress. Recap: Amy won't let J Sumpt do anything other than stick his tongue down her throat (aim for the uvula!) and he's getting antsy.
Then he becomes Big Swimmer Dude On Campus--er Lunchroom and this chick Monica totally gives him the eye. Now Monica is kind of a huge...how do I put this lightly? She's a whoreslutbag. Got a website and everything. And is a little (okay, a lot) insane. But that doesn't come in until later. One of J Sumpt's new friends shows him Mon's website and basically starts him on the downhill slope of watching porn obsessively. Throughout the film from this point we will be down pictures of Jeremy looking at "porn". Except because it's Lifetime he's just looking at women wearing really low cut tops and implying that you see more. So we never witness him looking at porn for real. But I don't really want to see Peter Pan looking at nekkid chicks so I'm okay with that.
J Sumpt's movie mom catches him looking at nekkid ladies at one point. This is before he learns to CLOSE THE F-ING DOOR. His movie dad talks to him about how it's normal but relationships aren't all about sex and blah blah blah love blah blah stop looking at porn. But J Sumpt's addicted! He can't stop! "I can stop whenever I want!" No J Sumpt, you can't. But before we get to that point, he learns how to close his door and stay up late drinking energy drinks and looking at boobies. Then his little brother finds out, later shows his friend, and then his friend gets caught when he shows other people. This is the summarized version of how his parents decide to turn off his internet access (but they don't so I'm kind of confused on that point...did they decide they trusted him? stupid parents) and he, crazy obsessed with nudity, goes to the library to get his fix.
Did I mention that he uses his girlfriend's PDA to download porn? Right before his swim meet? So he ends up losing the race? Because he's addicted to porn? Yeah. It's probably all those late nights where he stays up looking at it. Oh, and he gets into BDSM stuff and shows the guy who started this all and that guy gets pissed. He becomes an outsider at school because they all know about his little fetish. Or something like that. I didn't really pay attention.
Oh, and Monica still totally wants in his pants. And he wants up Monica's shirt. Amy still isn't giving anything up.
Jeremy's grades are suffering because of his addiction. He hacked through the library firewall to get his porn fix and got caught (stupid boy) and blah blah blah problem blah blah "I was looking at pornography!" Who calls it pornography? Other than older people, I mean. A sixteen year old boy would call it porn. Seriously. It's so unrealistic.
At some point now he goes to Monica's house because he wants some ass and she's more than willing. He's contacted her through her site once before (note said "You'r soooo amazing!!!" mispellings and emphasis all his) and goes over for a booty call. He compliments her house, she seems to take it the wrong way and then says she's just teasing and then brings him to her parents room where she intends to...well, you know. He won't be a virgin anymore. J Sumpt, however, chickens out (which is good because he probably would have ended up with an STD of some sort) and Monica goes batshit insane and kicks him out/yells at him because he rejected her. He leaves and she, being a damn psycho bitch, hits her head against the side of the sink so it looks like he beat her or raped her or something. Oh, so that's why he get the shit kicked out of him.
J Sumpt, thoroughly traumatised, decides that he is going to get help and makes peace with his mother and goes to Amy's to make peace with her (oh, she noticed the porn on her PDA finally and confronted him) and says something about wanting to go to Church with her. Again with the religion Lifetime? I get it. Christian=Good.
On his walk home he gets jumped by Monica's BF who doesn't realize how much of a whore she is or something and the guy who introduced J Sumpt to Monica's site the first time. They kick the shit out of him and leave him there. Completely angst ridden, J Sumpt walks to the school where he attempts to drown himself. And we're back at the point at which we started.
But no, here comes the montage of happy thoughts! J Sumpt doesn't want to kill himself afterall! And he pulls his head out of the water and lives. Yeah...lame ending. Would it be too much to ask for one last scene where he's talking to a psychologist or something? Just to show that he's getting help. I'm not sure exactly what I wanted for an ending but this sure as hell wasn't it. Come on Pan, give me something to work with here.
Oh Lifetime, you and your preachy ways. I learned so much from this film. Like the fact that porn can ruin your family or that being Christian is good. I also learned that Peter Pan can play a character that isn't, well, Peter Pan (though I will always refer to him as such, if not J Sumpt). It's funny to think of what Peter Pan's reaction would be to porn considering his reaction to Wendy kissing him innocently. I would not want to be in Neverland if that ever happened. *giggle*
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Date: 2007-03-15 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 01:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 05:11 am (UTC)Knowing this, I didn't read the rest because I AM SO GOING TO WATCH CYBER SEDUCTION WITH YOU NOW.
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Date: 2007-03-16 06:30 am (UTC)