Superman and Romance Novels. Best Mix Ever.

[arielarena]

There's currently an unfinished drawing on my floor that is being ignored as I write this. I can't help it. I found this:

Superman's a Cocky Bastard

To be truthful, I rediscovered it when showing ohniki my old photobuckets that had some old artwork on them. Only after going on the Smart Bitch blog and seeing the link to Superdickery did I actually remember that I'd found it.

Recently (read: sometime during first semester) ohniki introduced me to Superdickery.com where there is proof of Superman's asshatness but apparently I'd decided a while ago that he was, in fact, a dick. I'm sure that there's some SBMB thread that urged me to make this crappy drawing of why Superman is such an ass but I can't remember why. All I know is that I found it quite amusing.

But why, you're possibly wondering (but probably not but I'm gonna tell you anyway...it's called procrastinating), was I reading a blog about romance novels? Well, because I, Adri, am a romance novel junkie. I blame Angela. She's my dealer, so to speak. Sometime during the past two years she lent me a book about a highlander-hunk-with-a-raging-libido falling for the gorgeous-red-headed-virgin-who-doesn't-think-she-is-beautiful-but-apparently-is-a-sex-kitten. And god, was the story hilarious! Too bad I can't remember the title.

My first romance novel and it starts with Highlander-hunk...let's call him HH, screwing some guy's wife and then getting out as quickly as possible before the other dude kills him dead. Then he returns home where his other equally attractive brothers are (but not in the same way he is, at least not until you read the books that focus on them as the hero) awaiting him. Apparently all the women have decided to move into some section of the village (or is it the church? I can't remember) and not cook/clean/shtup their men. Oh, the feminism! Apparently Red-Head-Sex-Kitten, let's call her RH, has decided she doesn't want their clan fighting another clan anymore and thinks that taking away the food, cleaning and sex will change the men's minds. And guess whose job it is to get her to change her mind! That's right: HH! His manliness will obviously break her resolve upon seeing him. She will be doing his laundry in no time.

Or they'll end up going on a perilous journey to the other clan's territory for some weird reason I can't remember accompanied by Not-As-Attractive-As-HH-Brother. During the trip the two begin falling for each other. And by falling for each other I mean HH tries to feel RH up multiple times and, while she's totally into it, doesn't let him get very far because she doesn't want to be one of the other women he's screwed and thrown to the side. Fair enough, RH. Well, I hope you don't mind as he goes off into the woods to "relieve" himself. Okay, that doesn't happen in the story but that's just because romance novel heroes aren't real men. Back on topic. Blah blah blah, day before entering enemy clan's land blah blah blah.

RH, realizing that she and HH might die the next day, decides to put out. HH and RH go off and make babies for a while. At this point, the story got boring and I don't remember much so here's what I do recall.

RH sees boy that looks like HH. Thinks this is HH's bastard child. Doesn't want to admit she loves HH because she will lose him, and therefore loes access to his manparts. HH loves RH but doesn't want to admit it because he doesn't want to be tied to one woman though he totally would do it for her because he's in LOVE with her. LOVE! Enemy clan is actually pretty nice and doesn't kill HH or RH. I think the women of that clan did was RH did, too, and they all come to a peace agreement or something. RH and HH make with the love again and eventually admit that they love each other. Bastard son apparently not HH's but one of HH's not-as-hot-brother's (not sure which one), they bring him back to their clan. HH and RH get married. Women return to doing what women do best: cooking and cleaning.

Moral of the story: When you want a man to do something for you and he's being too freakin' stubborn to follow your command...er...request, don't cook, clean or have sex with him. Especially the sex part. They hate not getting any.

The End


And now I'm wondering, why the hell I wrote all that out. Oh yeah, time wasting. Shall I continue? Well, Nicole isn't here yet to finish Drawing so I may as well.



So, just out of curiosity, do you like the random reviews that are somewhat related to my real life but are more for your amusement (and mine)? If not, I can stop. They're just fun to write and I hope they're fun to read. Just a little something to distract you from the boredom and evilness of constant work. That is why we have LJ, aferall. :-)

ETA: Tell me what your first romance novel was and feel free to post the cover. Half of what makes romance novels awesome is due to the abundance of mantitty on the cover. So, please share.

Comments

[ohniki.livejournal.com]

Yo, you spelled "schtup" wrong. :/

[ohniki.livejournal.com]

Oh, by the way. This is MY first romance novel:

[superri.livejournal.com]

And this is the mine:

[caitylady88.livejournal.com]

I love the comment on the top of the book. "I love Kinley MacGregor's books!" That's like when someone asks you what pizza tastes like and saying "I love pizza!"...it's totally not helpful.

[uscdreamr.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can remember the first romance novel I read. But I have read about a zillion. One of my roommates is also a Romance Novel Junkie, so anytime either of us goes to the store we bring home a book. We have two bookcases full and a few others randomly scattered around our house. Our third roommate teases us for it all the time.