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EDWARD: OMG BELLA stop trying to get me to tell you my deep dark secrets. WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS!!

BELLA: BUT EDDY-POO, YOU SAVED ME FROM A TRUCK AND WE ARE SO OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE TOGETHER BECAUSE I DREAM OF YOU AND SHIT.

EDWARD: BUT I'M DANGEROUS!!!!! *stalks off...sexily*

BELLA: WTF are you talking about??? *goes to ponder his every move/word/expression for PAGES AND PAGES*

*EDWARD returns*

EDWARD: BELLA, I'VE DECIDED TO PRETTY MUCH STALK YOU. LET'S BE FRIENDS!

BELLA: YOU SAID WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, ASSHAT.

EDWARD: ....I lied?

BELLA: You are SO LUCKY that you're sexy.

EDWARD: Don't you mean DAZZLING??

BELLA: ?

EDWARD: Oh, that doesn't come up till later...SPOILERS OMG! Anyway, let's go to Seattle TOGETHER. After I get ALL of the boys in the school to ask you to ask them to the dance that you don't want to go to anyway, 'cause you're clumsy.

BELLA: WTF?! *ponders in a very ponder-y way* Sure.

--and scene--

Next day at school...

EDWARD: BELLA SIT WITH ME INSTEAD OF YOUR STUPID-ASS FRIENDS WHOSE NAMES YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF THE TIME ANYWAY.

BELLA: I thought you said to stay away from you...WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

EDWARD: I don't care anymore. You SHOULD stay away from me, though. BUT I'M TOTALLY GONNA STALK YOU, FYI.

READER: What...the fuck?


And that's as far as I've read at the moment.


ETA:

Just got to the SPARKLING bit.

Edward Cullen has the mood swings of a pregnant woman with multiple personality disorder.

Date: 2008-06-17 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inoldentimes.livejournal.com
...and it doesn't really get any better.

Date: 2008-06-17 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] superri.livejournal.com
That was a VERY fast response. Hahaha! I've heard that doesn't get better. I'm in it for the sparkles and dazzling.

Date: 2008-06-17 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inoldentimes.livejournal.com
lol. I just opened my browser and lj friends is my homepage... guess you'd just posted.

Yeah.. it's just one of those teen books I have zero patience for... sort of like HP6 with all the "I like you, but you like me too, so I'm gonna go date him to make you jealous blah blah" bullshit. I only read the first twilight book, and couldn't be arsed with the rest, although when I worked at Chapters all the girls were all gaga about it.

*yawn*
lol

Date: 2008-06-17 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] superri.livejournal.com
I like to think my reading it is sort of a sociological experiment but it's really just so I can mock it more effectively.

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