OMGTWILIGHT

[arielarena]

EDWARD: OMG BELLA stop trying to get me to tell you my deep dark secrets. WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS!!

BELLA: BUT EDDY-POO, YOU SAVED ME FROM A TRUCK AND WE ARE SO OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE TOGETHER BECAUSE I DREAM OF YOU AND SHIT.

EDWARD: BUT I'M DANGEROUS!!!!! *stalks off...sexily*

BELLA: WTF are you talking about??? *goes to ponder his every move/word/expression for PAGES AND PAGES*

*EDWARD returns*

EDWARD: BELLA, I'VE DECIDED TO PRETTY MUCH STALK YOU. LET'S BE FRIENDS!

BELLA: YOU SAID WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, ASSHAT.

EDWARD: ....I lied?

BELLA: You are SO LUCKY that you're sexy.

EDWARD: Don't you mean DAZZLING??

BELLA: ?

EDWARD: Oh, that doesn't come up till later...SPOILERS OMG! Anyway, let's go to Seattle TOGETHER. After I get ALL of the boys in the school to ask you to ask them to the dance that you don't want to go to anyway, 'cause you're clumsy.

BELLA: WTF?! *ponders in a very ponder-y way* Sure.

--and scene--

Next day at school...

EDWARD: BELLA SIT WITH ME INSTEAD OF YOUR STUPID-ASS FRIENDS WHOSE NAMES YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF THE TIME ANYWAY.

BELLA: I thought you said to stay away from you...WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

EDWARD: I don't care anymore. You SHOULD stay away from me, though. BUT I'M TOTALLY GONNA STALK YOU, FYI.

READER: What...the fuck?


And that's as far as I've read at the moment.


ETA:

Just got to the SPARKLING bit.

Edward Cullen has the mood swings of a pregnant woman with multiple personality disorder.

Comments

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I screened that comment, anyway. That way you don't get more unwanted calls.

An iPhone, you say? OOooOOOOoo.